GrudgeLine

Dear Grudgeline,
I have been concerned lately with some things that have happen lately in the world that concern me. There was that Tsunami that killed so many people; the protested elections in Ukraine, with the Moscow backed man loosing out with Putin going back to the old Soviet ways of doing things, and of course, the Red Soxs, Mickleson, and now the Eagles reversing their curses. I ask you Grudge-Line. Is these things a sign that feared End of Days is upon us?? Might I also add that my favorate bar is now being threaten by a glacier?? Well, the river next to it has ice jams, and things are frozen and are backing up.
-Bigmrg74

Dear Bigmrg74,
Thank you for your comments. As always, our customers are our #1 priority. As you may be aware, our IT department has been extremely busy for quite some time now. It is not surprising that some of our call tickets have not closed yet, due to our busy work team schedules. Please remember that we scheduled our visit for between (200)1 and (200)6. While it is true that we are closer the to end of that timeframe than we are to the beginning, we are still within our scheduled timeframe. If that is a problem, dude, you shouldn't have gotten a Dell. We are working on your call ticket, and you should have the full Y2K Catastrophe software package implemented soon.
Thank you for choosing Dell.
-Shaukat "Bob" Zeb-Tahirkheli
Dell Computer Customer Representative

Dear Grudgeline,
I was wondering,can I trust what you say,or are you just a nother guy that makes up stuff?And can you mail me about $999,999,999,999,999,999,999?
- [Anonymous]

Dear Anonymous (Good thinking, by the way),
I AM A DOCTOR FROM NIGERIA. I HAVE $100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 ON HAND. HOWEVER, DUE TO GOVERNMENT INSTABILITY, I CANNOT TRANSPORT THIS MONEY OUT OF THE COUNTRY BY MYSELF. WITH YOUR HELP, I CAN GET THIS MONEY OUT AND HAPPILY GIVE YOU THE MONEY YOU REQUEST. HOWEVER, DUE TO THE IMMINENT DANGER ASSOCIATED WITH TRANSACTIONS OF THIS NATURE, WE MUST DO THIS IN SECRECY. STRICT CONFIDENTIALITY MUST BE ADHERED TO, OR MY NAME ISN'T DR. CLEMENT OKON! ALL I NEED ARE ANY AND ALL BANK ACCOUNT NUMBERS YOU HAVE ACCESS TO AND I WILL TRANSFER THE MONEY INTO THOSE ACCOUNTS. PLEASE ALSO SEND ALL AVAILABLE CREDIT CARD NUMBERS FOR VERIFICATION PURPOSES. PLEASE ALLOW 4 TO 6 WEEKS FOR DELIVERY. SATISFACTION IS GUARANTEED. VOID WHERE PROHIBITED. SOME SETTLING MAY OCCUR DURING SHIPPING. THANK YOU FOR YOUR HELP IN THIS JUST CAUSE.
-DR. CLEMENT OKON

Dear Grudgeline,
I have recently learned that my favorite website will cease to produce new vote-driven-slugfests between various pop culture icons. Similarly, I have a sneaky feeling that the same will happen to this site's "Advice Column." Please, tell me that there's some hope! Sincerely,
-Afgncaap5

Dear Afgncaap5,
You have a very insightful request. Did you know that 375,000 advice columns were neglected or destroyed last year alone? Were you aware that 37% of all advice column destruction is associated with website shutdown events? Also, a significant cause of advice column failure is caused by advice requests that are either extremely offensive or would result in Secret Service visits. So, to answer your question, GrudgeLine will continue as long as there are quality advice requests to use. In short, dear reader, only YOU can prevent GrudgeLine shutdown!
-Smokey T. Bear