World Wide Web Fights presents
WWWF GRUDGE MATCH

The Setting

STEVE: This week we have a battle between two exemplary evil geniuses: Khan from Star Trek and Lex Luthor from Superman. This time the competition is a bit more complex since it must be a battle of brains, not brawn. The traditional method of measuring genius is with strategy. What better way to measure strategy than with a classic game of strategy, Stratego. However, we also need motivation to have each act to their full potential. If Lex Luthor wins, Lex gets Superman's head on a platter. If Khan wins, Khan gets Captain Kirk's head on a platter. Powerful motivation indeed! So, Brian, who do you like in this match-up of wits: Khan vs. Luthor at Stratego-- best out of 7.

Khan Noonien Singh, Wrath of Khan Lex Luthor, Superman

Khan

vs.

Lex Luthor

The Commentary

BRIAN: In a series as long as that, I have to go with Khan, Steve. (I am asuming by the way, that the only exposure each evil genius has to the game beforehand is reading what was on the inside of the top of the box.) Khan is a genius, but needs to learn. You'll remember that when battling Kirk for the second and final time, he learned how to control a starship very quickly, but, when it came down to fighting in the nebulae, he didn't know to think 3-dimensionally and got wasted. That same fight again and he's thinking 3-D and toasts Kirk's butt. So Luther, who will nearly master the game by reading the instructions, will win the first few games (Khan especially being perplexed by that whole bomb/miner/bomb disarming thing), but Khan will quickly catch up to and surpass Lex. Khan in 7.

STEVE: I agree that this is going to be a close one, but in the end, Lex will pull through. Put simply, no one can hold a candle to Lex's superior intellect. Let's not forget that he single-handedly masterminded a plan to sink California into the ocean. He discovered Superman's origin and the effect of Kryptonite on him. Not to mention being leader of the Legion of Doom. His mind is like a well-oiled machine. Of course, Khan is no idiot. He has superior genetically engineered intellect. However, his rage towards Kirk will destroy his concentration, leading to foolish errors in strategy. Lex will quickly capitalize on these, eventually capturing the Stratego flag. The one advantage Khan has is intimidation. He is quite a domineering fellow, and his firey stare will cause lapses in Lex's concentration, allowing him to win a couple matches. Lex in 6.

BRIAN: Thanks for playing, Steve. We have some lovely consolation gifts for you. First of all, like you said, Khan has a genetically engineered intellect. Lex's random assortment of chromosomes can't compete. Second, the Hall of Doom sucked ass. They lost everything all the time - none of his plans for world domination ever worked. Third, Khan will overcome his rage after the first few games and it will become his ally. PLUS, Luthor will win the first few games, and get cocky. (Remember, he relaxed with two nuclear missiles in the air and Superman in the underground pool with a kryptonite necklace. So relaxed, in fact, that he didn't consider the possibilities of buxom traitors or warps in the space-time continuum.) That will be his undoing. Khan's dinner: Kirk's skull l'orange under glass.

STEVE: When did you get back on the prescription medication? It's obviously clouding your judgement. Let's look at their respective foes. Khan was defeated by Kirk, a two-bit captain who was always letting his hormones get the better of him. Kirk's two best friends either couldn't feel or couldn't act. Lex was defeated by Superman, an alien with super powers who would waste Kirk in a heartbeat. Anyone would lose to Superman. Only a weak-minded fool could lose to Kirk. And as far as genetics go, you must have been sleeping through Biology 101. It is the diversity of genes that causes genetic strength. Khan doesn't stand a chance--he will fall.

BRIAN: "It is the diveristy of genes that causes genetic strength"??!!! More so than genetic engineering???!!!!!! HELLO! Boy, good thing you're not an engineer, Steve. You'd never make it. Khan would win and everyone else on the Web but you knows it.

The Results

Khan (347)

beats

Lex Luthor (315)

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Voter Comments

Of course anyone whose parents named him "Lex" is going to grow up to be a hoodlum. But a kid named "Khan" has to go out of his way to become a creep. It's that go-gettum attitude that makes Khan the superior fighter in this match. Thanks.

-tyson

If this was a street brawl (such as the Coleman-Webster battle), I would have to side with Khan, since he has superior strength as well as intellect. However, his mind is no match the massive brain power of Lex Luthor. Khan also will be distracted by a midget tugging on him yeliing "The Plane! The Plane!"

-Gonzo

First off, just want to congratulate you on a really cool, great new idea... Good to see lots of creativity on the Web... :) Secondly, I have to go with Luthor... He has the right combination of pure wicked genius and saavy... I don't think there can be much of a question that Luthor would find some way to win, even if it comes down to cheating to do so... Luthor has enough grit and ambition to get the job done... I've always loved Khan, but I just don't think this is his cup of tea... Just as Brian said, Luthor will take the first batch of games rather quickly... But I don't think Khan will be able to dig himself out of that hole...

-Alex

Khan is the superior intellect. Lex Luthor is more like Wile E. Coyote than a real super genius - there's always some flaw in his plan that leads to his downfall. We know that Khan is a master of strategy and military games. Stratego suits him once he masters the premise. Lex, on the other hand, IS a genius but his ego and search for power and revenge always cause him to be blind to obvious faults in his plans. Khan can easily distract him and get him riled and once Khan starts winning, Lex will quickly become frustrated.

Like all comic villains, Lex never finishes off his opponents in person, and leaves them in the seemingly impossible positions where he THINKS they will later die. Khan has no such weekness. Khan, on the other hand, would sooner watch Kirks brains ooze from his head than leave the dirty work up to someone else or to some bizzare contraption.

-Perry

everyone knows khan can only think in two dimensions, thats why kirk was able to kick his ass. luther knows better plus he never said the words corinthian leather.

-Tom

I realize I have too much time on my hands when I actually try to imagine a game between these two.

-Saint

Gentlemen,

I agree both contestants have superior intellects. While Khan may have more stamina in a long series, I believe Luthor's devious mind will give him the edge. Khan will apply superior diligence and logically play the "best" move at the time given the "Fog of War" nature of the game. However, Luthor would have his flag in totally unpredictable places each game - and play in such a devious way that only an equally brilliant criminal mind could follow.

In other words, Khan may win the battle (end with more Marshalls and Generals), but Luthor would win the war (capture Khan's flag). The only danger would be in Luthor's bragging during the game, he may give away a game or two to Khan.

Another factor in Luthor's advantage is that there is more pressure on Khan. Khan especially, along with all intelligent humanoids, would crave the sight of Kirk's skull L'orange under glass so much that the pressure would be unbearable - even to a superior specimen of humanoid.

-John

Khan just has a better accent. And I'm a big fan of Corinthian leather.

-Jeff

Khan pulls out this hard fought victory in 7 games. Luthor spends the first several matches giggling and making snide comments about Khan's HUGE plastic chest. Luthor is distracted by the enormous hair/chest combo to make several costly mistakes which Khan uses to his advantage.

-Yeldarb

Well, Khan clearly has too few syllables in his name. I think that shows an obvious weakness in identity and an ultimately failing personality. He's a hands down loser.

Sincerely,

Albenton Francisco DiGregarionomous

Well, golly, he sure has a nicer suit than Khan, doesn't he? Although I have to admit, Khan's has hair that could definitely be used as a weapon of some sort.

We think Lex will win as the light reflected off his specular head will blind and stupify Khan.

-TCOH

Steve, I am beginning to think that you are the one on prescription drugs. True, Kirk was not worthy to challenge even a mosquito. However, you are talking about the Lex Luthor from the Superman movies, not the TV series. The big-screen luthor, while being an evil genius who gave Superman a tough challenge, was also a bumbling fool who required the help of Richard Pryor in the 3rd movie fercrissake! Anyone needing assistance from burning reefer boy is setting himself up for a hard fall when he matches wits with Khan.

From the comfort of his rich Corinthian leather chair, Khan will toy with Luthor, inciting Lex to make mistakes that spermatozoae wouldn't make. You also have to look at the resources that each competitor brings to the table:

Lex Luthor has cash and a few friends in high places, but it is limited to the planet earth. Khan, on the other hand, has a whole inter-galactic network of tricks up his sleeve. Khan has the advantage that he lives in Lex's future and you can bet that Khan will have learned from past mistakes made by humans and other life forms.

Finally, you have to look at the mood each warrior brings to the table: Luthor constantly loses to Superman, a being superior in all aspects; losing to Superman is nothing to be ashamed of. Khan will bring shame by the starshipfull; imagine the rage he feels in having lost to a stuttering captain with a bad hairpiece. Luthor will be lucky that Khan doesn't rip his head off. Knowing that he can have Kirk's head on a platter will focus Khan's energy into beating Luthor in four games straight. If Luthor is lucky, he will escape with his life, but don't bet on it. Khan is out for blood - Kirk's mostly - and he will take out anyone standing in his way.

Nuff said!

-HotBranch!

If you liked this match, check out these other past matches:

Pinky and The Brain v. Dogbert
Tarzan v. Aquaman
Other Star Trek based Grudge Matches™