Fortunately, however, Kramer encounters yet another patented Seinfeldian quirk of fate: he finds himself standing in front of the garage for the taxi that just drove off with his suit. So he runs in to complain to the manager of the Sunshine Cab Company. Inside, he finds the dispatcher. "Hey, buddy. One of your cabs ran off with my chicken suit."
"Look, brillo head! I got enough screwballs working for me, I don't need any more coming in and whining about chicken suits! Now scram!"
Perhaps it was the 15 cafe lattes Kramer had that afternoon, perhaps it was the knowledge that Kramer wouldn't be able to find legal counsel if his life depended on it, but he decided to take matters into his own hands. Pulling down the caging of the office, Kramer grabs the dispatcher by the throat: "GIMME BACK MY CHICKEN!!"
Coming in from his dinner break, the Reverend Jim Ignatowski sees his best friend (or so he thinks), Louie DePalma, being beaten up. With an extra dose of energy and courage courtesy of a tray full of "upper" brownies, Iggy runs over to neutralize the threat.
So, Steve, which bad-haired oddball comes out on top?
You see, Kramer is one with himself. He is always becoming in tune with his body, just like a Kung Fu master or a Tibetan Monk. He is a master of relaxation, health food, and meditation. Just look at all his past exploits: He had his hot tub, his bed of sand, regular massages, and all manner of dietary aids (such as the fresh fruit diet). The list goes on and on. Years of these activities have turned him into a dormant fighting machine which has just awakened. What does Iggy do? He sits around all day in a taxi garage, spouting out words of wisdom. He's probably so out of shape that he can't even bend the stiffened arms of his never-washed jean jacket.
Honestly, Brian, I haven't seen such a one-sided match in a long time.
BRIAN: Once again, Steve, your hyperboles fail to compensate for your warped vision. Kramer as a kung fu master? Kramer has taken karate, and was even tops in his class... against a bunch of eight year olds! And then Elaine showed up and beat him like he stole something from her. Clearly, Kramer is not the fighter you make him out to be.
And if eccentricity is a benefit, Iggy has him beat. Has Kramer been aboard a spaceship? Does Kramer have an entire wall of televisions? Did Kramer spend half a day watching a state congress debate in hopes that people from Delaware would be called Delaweenians? I fail to see how any of this will help Iggy win, but it can't hurt.
The reasons for Iggy's victory are almost too numerous to mention. There's his tremendous wealth. He can afford hand held missiles with the funds he has. And what of home court advantage? While Louie might get pummeled, do you think Alex and Tony would stand for some high-haired freak to beat up on their beloved Reverend? Plus, if Iggy ever loses, he can just hop in his DeLorean, go back to the start of the fight, and try again (just like every other Star Trek Next Generation episode). And let's not forget Kramer's short attention span. He's so easily distracted that even if he does start winning, he'll suddenly decide he HAS to have a Whatchamacallit (tm) from the vending machine despite having no change. By the time that sub-plot is finished, not only will he have lost the fight, but Mr. Costanza will have already given the chicken suit to Newman in exchange for some compromising photos that were accidentally dropped in the mail to the New York Times.
STEVE: I think you overestimate the home court advantage. First of all, Elaine and Alex are pacifists and wouldn't get involved. Bobby is a pretty-boy and wouldn't want to get his hair mussed up. Latka is busy working under a cab, and Vic Ferrari is nowhere to be seen. Louie will be hiding in his cage. Tony is really the only threat. Unfortunately, he's weak-minded and Alex & Elaine's influence will keep him from getting involved. Iggy is on his own this time.
Iggy may be rich, but if you were to ask him for some money, chances are he wouldn't even have any. He just spends it on drugs too fast, and never has any on him. His marijuana influenced mind is incapable of actually planning anything in advance, therefore he could never get your proposed hand-held missiles. Get real.
And by now, Newman, the inept postman, has accidentally swapped two similar-looking packages. He is now the proud owner of a box of cab spare parts. And of course, the chicken suit has been delivered to none other than the Sunshine Cab Co.
BRIAN: Well, Steve, last time we saw Iggy he was handing out $1,000 to his co-workers. So not only is he still rich, but he's not stingy with his money. Seems to me that if Kramer ever gets the best of him, Iggy won't hesitate to offer 10 grand for somebody to take him out. The ever greedy Louie and the "weak-minded" Tony would be on Kramer like gum on a cab seat.
Of course, Kramer would never get the best of him. Are we forgetting Jim's psychic powers? He'll know what move Kramer's going to try before Kramer does, and will be able to defend himself and counter accordingly. And what of Jim's cat-like reflexes, honed from 3,764 consecutive hours of Pac-Man (tm)? And while one could argue that Kramer is an accident waiting to happen, Jim's an even bigger danger. He stayed at Louie's apartment that one time and in a matter of hours had completely torched the place! Even if Kramer doesn't fight him he'll be lucky to get out alive.
In the aftermath, as Kramer is being taken away on a stretcher, an old lady (Elaine's great aunt, who she was supposed to pick up but couldn't because the guy she was dating had this "thing" on his back and she had to take him to the doctor right then) starts slooooowly crossing the street. Jerry's cab, on the way to the game, swerves to miss her, goes onto the sidewalk, knocks a box out of a mailman's hands and into Kramer's lap, and then hits Kramer's stretcher, sending it rolling down the street. He doesn't stop until he rolls into Yankee Stadium and crashes into a wall, sending the contents of the box flying. George (who by an amazing coincidence was standing right there) grabs the chicken suit and takes it to the locker room, just in the nick of time.
And in the confusion, no one notices the two cans of shaving cream lying under the hot dog stand...
Thanks to Matt Lynch at Penn State University for suggesting this match.
For Seinfeld and Taxi links, visit Sitcoms Online.
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- Mark Wentz
Kramer, on the other hand, is Jewish. I don't care if you have a positive mental image of Jews or not, you have to admit one thing, Jews are a bitch in battle. They always kicked ass in the Old Testament. Sure, the Babalonians and the Romans picked on them a bit, but the Jews sure bled both armies. Did you watch that mini-series on Masada? Several THOUSAND Roman legionaries were unable to bring down a small fortress held by a few hundred Jews! When the Romans tried to starve them out, the Jews commited suicide by jumping off the battlements rather than be beaten. Now that's tough! Not to mention that Israel is located in a very rough neighborhood at the moment, and continues to spit in everyone's eye. Nope, no contest. Ignatowski, like his forefathers, may put up some kind of token aggression, but in the end, Cosmo's warrior heritage will come forward and he'll bleed the reverend as the Canaanites of old.
- Capt. Kibbitz
When Kramer (a.k.a. Michael Richards) walks into the Sunshine Cab company, Latka (a.k.a. Andy Kaufman) hears that manic voice and instantly reacts. Andy has a flashback to the night when he hosted Fridays(tm), an attempted rip-off of SNL(tm), and held the show hostage to his whacked out antics. At the end of the show, he and Michael Richards actually got in a brawl on live TV.
Seeing his adversary on his home turf, Andy swaggers over to Michael and throws a glass of water in his face, reenacting that fateful night. Michael Richards is shocked to recognize the one person who may have derailed his comedy career and delayed his ascent to stardom and he loses it. Rev. Jim is cast aside and instantly distracted by the Whatchamacallit (tm) that Kramer drops and the other two are engaged in the brawl of the century.
The winner--Andy Kaufman, whose extensive woman-wrestling experience helps him pummel Kramer, who couldn't even fend off the two gay men who stole Elaine's armoire that Kramer was supposed to be guarding.
- Amy
Consider this...
I can think of a number of Seinfeld episodes where Kramer began with big plans, exercised his "Dork" rights, and wound up with nothing. Conversely, I am unable to recall any Iggy centric Taxi episodes where Jim didn't end up with some form of good fortune. The reason is clear. Fate has already dealt a brain numbing blow to Iggy. He once was a successful student on a bright path to happiness and good fortune. Now, after years of self-destructive drug addictions, he's lowered his IQ several dozen points, been disowned by his family, and is working as a taxi driver. This also increases the potential Rage(tm) factor. Fate has merely humored with Kramer and has yet to truly trash him. It's going to happen. Look for it in an upcoming episode.
Besides, has anyone seen someone stoned out of his gourd and in a fight? They feel no pain. After years of drug abuse, Iggy is lucky to still feel gravity. Kramer might throw blow after blow and Iggy will keep coming. Once Kramer realizes Iggy is unstoppable, he'll pass another kidney stone and run screaming from the cab center.
Both fate, rage, and drugs will decide this battle.
Speaking of chickens... wasn't the crap kicked out of Kramer by two chickens in a previous episode? Wow... what a fighter.
- RSB
Iggy calls for help but everyone except Latka has already ran away to their favorite Italian eatery. Latka enters the fray while Jim quietly ingests some more brownies. Latka's experiance in Pro-wrestling quickly puts him ahead, but, unfortunately, K ramer calls for help and Newman appears. The four screwups battle all over the garage until the other T.V. screwballs show up (Bull, from Night Court: Lenny and Squiggy from Laverne and Shirly: etc.)
The swat team is called in to disperse the riot, but to no avail. the final tally: 20 casualties, including Iggy. (Krmaer and Newman snuck out to try to return soda bottles to Michigan in a mailtruck with the license plat no. "ASSMAN"
- Zero the Hero
- Raf
- Fredbird
- Elayne's new boyfriend
- TOM
- Kirk
As we know from the infamous "Contest" episode, Kramer has no willpower whatsoever.
JERRY: Hey, look across the street!
Surely, someone with such pent-up sexual frustration will win against
the Rev.
Jim hits the floor in less time than it took Cosmo's horse to eat all
the Price Club/Costco bulk cans of Beefaroni...(The Rye episode)
- Vlad, back in Moose Jaw, mooching off his parents once more...
- Eric H.
1) First of all, we have to realize that
although Kramer may only be able to beat the
pants off 8-year olds, at least he can do that.
It seems as though i remember Jim being
somewhat of a pacifist (if only by artificial
means...)
2) We also know that you don't wanna get
between Kramer and his chickens. I need only
cite 2 episodes: A) The Kenny Rogers
Roasters episode, in which Kramer would
gladly have KILLED a man to get his beloved
chicken back (it's the wood that makes it
good). Then of course there was the B)
Little Jerry Seinfeld episode in which
Kramer bought a "chicken" for a pet. When he
found out cock-fighting was dangerous to
Little Jerry, Kramer didn't even hesitate to
jump into the pit, risking his own life to
save..... a chicken.
3) Numerous other Seinfeld episodes prove
that Kramer has little or no regard for his
personal safety when he is engaged in
pursuit of some sacred object. Jim's only
chance is to try and capitalize on Kramer's
one weakness: Mary Hart's Voice.
This match all comes down to who can get to
the remote control first.......
- John
There's also the sense of bravado. Jim willing boarded an alien ship,
no abduction neccessary. Kramer is afraid to buy plantains from a mean
grocer...c'mon!
- Cubed_Rat
1) TIME TRAVEL: In the strange event things are not going his way, Jim
can simply utilize the DeLorean(TM) to go forward in time, analyze the
security cameras for weaknesses, and then travel BACK IN TIME (TM) and
caitalize on this new information, repeating as necessary until
victory is certain.
2) INVULNERABILITY: How often has Jim proven to be invulnerable to
physical harm? He was electrocuted, blown up, crushed, and abandoned
in the ocean, all without being harmed in any way (except that he was
completely bald), and that was in only TWO movies...... plus let us
face it, his Addams Family (TM) background gives him a certain
advantage aside from the invulnerability factor, namely in that he is
completely unaware of the possibility of demise.
3) COMBAT TRAINING AND ABILITY: Who in the galaxy is better trained
in the art of hand-to-hand combat than a Klingon Captain? And don't
pull that "well Captain Kirk managed to kill him" stuff, because that
all happened before 1) and 2) occurred; and after all, who in their
right mind could compare Kramer to Kirk (other than the fact that they
both have bad hair?) If Iggy can outwrestle some super-strength
bacteria on Spock's casket, he can certainly out-wrestle the super-
strength bacterium he is matched up against here...
'Nuff said, then.... Iggy withstands whatever attack Cosmo can mount,
while simultaneously travelling back in time and beheading the
younger, unsuspecting pre-Seinfeld Kramer with his Klingon Bat'telh
sword.....
- Kang
Judge Doom! This Roger Rabbit villain wouldn't give in to
Kramer's wacky characters, because he's dealt with 'toons-- and
they don't get much wackier... Doom's also not as straight-laced
as the other characters, I guess. Anyhow, unless Kramer's got
some dip, I must grant the Rev. victory...
- Noel Schornhorst
Suddenly, a retro-60's Oldie[TM] starts playing on the announcement
speakers. The two fighters look around, wondering where it's coming
from. Then, they see him, jumping across the floor until he's
right between them.
"Wait a minute," Kramer starts. "Just who are you, you...whatever you
are?!"
"Aw, come on!" He taunts. "One, and two, and one..."
Slowly, the misteryrious stranger walks away, searching for a fat guy
to pester. Yes, the mighty Kramer and the goofballed Jim Ignatowski have fallen to the baddest "big hair" freak on the planet, Richard Simmons[TM].
As for Iggy calling on allies... Alex and Elaine would either try
to restrain Kramer (exposing themselves to his flailing arms) or talk
him down (exposing themselves to his bizarre mind), either way they
will be neutralized, and neither Bobby or Louie is going to risk
getting invovled (I refuse to even acknowledge the existance of that
annoying mechanic guy). That only leaves Tony, but remember Tony is a
Vietnam vet, he was off risking his life so Iggy could protest the war
and get lots of drugs and sex. Tony doubtlessly feels anger and
jealously towards this rich freaky peace creep and is probably
secretly glad that someone is finally doing this. As such there is no
way Tony is going to get involved. Iggy is on his own.
Now under normal circumstances Kramer may not be much, after all he
has lost to Elaine, children, and AIDS activists (do we really have to
wear a ribbon to prove that we are against a murderous plague?), but
when riled up he can be pretty dangerous. Remember in the Pinky Toe
episode, he beat up an armed robber while driving his girlfriend on a
bus to the hospital (and he still made all the stops). Kramer is
riled today and he is going to kick some ass.
- Brendan W. Guy
Whoa! That scruffy guy. Wasn't he the Klingon captain in Star Trek
III? And that man with the big nose. He was in Independence Day!
And I swear that blond fella's on Babylon 5! EEK! The Penguin!
AAAAAAAAAHHHH...!
Kramer flees in terror, while Jim scratches his head. "Wow, my
flashbacks are getting weirder all the time!"
- Call me Shane
- Matt Keeley & Ben Allen
Jim set fire to Louis's apartment. Cosmo torched George's girlfriend's
father's log cabin. A draw on pyrotechnics.
Jim has his father's fortune. Cosmo, to quote George, "gets sex
without dating and falls ass-backwards into money". A draw on
finances.
Iggy has Elayne. Kramer has Elaine. A draw on obligatory sitcom babes.
Iggy has psychic powers, but they only work on predicting TV
ratings. Kramer was on Murphy Brown, a once top-rated show.
Since they both screwed up, a draw on Television.
Christopher Lloyd was the bad guy on Best of the West (and The
Lone Ranger remake?). Micheal Richards was a dweeby version of John
"Die Hard" McLane in Airheads. A draw on alter-egos.
It comes down to primal, physical combat. Kramer defeated a bus
hijacker with one hand while simultaneously dropping off
passengers. Iggy nearly died when he went to an aerobics session with
Latka/Vic. If nothing else, Kramer could OD on free coffee, grab Jim
and vibrate him to pulp. An easy victory to CK.
- John Hunter
- Robin Shortt
And gentlemen that is how it will happen. Neither one of these two have the attention span long enough to fight each other, but have so much stupid little trivia bits tucked away somewhere in that head of theirs that they could talk for hours without actually having a point.
- The Hermit!
- B. Cooney
So, without refering to the facts I have made my desicion on who will win- Reverand Jim Igisomething. He has a much cooler name whilst the other one has a duck on his head. No contest.
- Napoleon
Given home court advantage Jim gets in the first blow, but it will be
his last. Kramer counters with a right cross to the jaw. As Jim's
head snaps to the side he sees an interesting looking stain on the
wall and walks off to investigate. Kramer goes back to ranting about
the chicken suit and the game is over.
- Gary
- Your Typical Iconoclast Noncomformist (typical I say)
Now, of course, with Kramer and Jim both being of above-average
height, and both being rather abundantly endowed with hair (which they
have the AUDACITY to neglect and/or wear in funny styles!!) Louie will
now have a target for all this pent-up fury! Like a can of Jolt(tm)
placed in a paint-can-shaker and then punctured with a pen, Louie will
change from the short, balding chubber that we all know him as, into a
raving, gun-toting freak bent on wreaking carnage on all present,
Kramer and Jim foremost. (Gun-toting?? you ask? of course, what Cab co
doesn't have a few heavy assault and crew-served weapons at their
headquarters!?!?!?)
So, as Louie is busy going postal, blasting anything and everything
within sight with more height and/or more hair than him, the rest of
the cast of Seinfeld just happens to wander by, each catching a
stray-bullet-or-four, forever ending the misery they started when they
first began their sitcom. The scene creates plenty of interest and
draws quite a crowd, including Ellen and Co, who're busy snickering
over the deaths of their competition when a carefully aimed shot from
Louie "The PostMan" dePalma ruptures a gas-tank next to them, and
permanently ends the BullShit Hype(tm) generated by Ellen's recent
admission of her place in the realms of Dykedom (as if anyone ever
doubted it
Just then, Marty arrives on skateboard, is spared by Louie since he's
even shorther than Louie is, and runs over to Jim, screaming
incoherently something along the lines of "Why didn't you just read
the damn letter?!?"
Unfortunately for Louie, he makes the mistake of exulting in his
victory over Ellen, and is snatched by a heavily-armed
splinter-faction of Dykes-on-Bykes(tm), the group known as Militia
Etheridge! They grab him and ride off to their secret headquarters
where they torture him by strapping him to a chair where he is forced
to watch a 24-hour continuous play series of Ellen re-runs, while
Melissa Etheridge is blasted in his left ear and KD Lang is blasted in
his right. He is eventually found dead, having chewed off his own
tongue and swallowed in a desperate (and successful) effort to end his
own misery.
Back at the garage, Jim suddenly sits up, pulls apart his jean jacket,
and shows off his bullet-proof vest to Marty, who is so pissed at
being duped, that he crushes Jim's head with nearby wrench, and then
takes off on his skateboard and is found dead a few weeks later from
radiation poisoning, with the word "Oedipus" scratched into the dirt
by his hand.
A happy ending for the rest of the population of the world I must say!
- Fistandantilus of Montreal - Officially-Sanctioned Crazed Looney(tm)
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© 1997, WWWF Grudge Match; © 2000, Dragon Hamster Productions, LLC
GEORGE: What?
JERRY: There's a beautiful naked woman in the apartment across from
us.
KRAMER: Excuse me for a second...
ELAINE, JERRY, GEORGE: WHAT?
KRAMER: I'm out. Finito.
Come on, this is toooooooo easy. Iggy will whip Kramer's butt. Remember
Kramer, when confronted by -- how to put it, well affeminate -- street
thugs, left Elaine's armoire and ran (and Jerry was no help either).
Unless Kramer enlists the help of his ol' friend the soup nazi (tm),
he hasn't got a chance.
Well, I had to pick a winner, but it wasn't
easy. You pit the reason i watch Seinfeld
against the reason i watch Taxi reruns.
Unfortunately, when compared side-by-side,
it becomes painfully obvious that Jim just
can't compete, not against a third-grade
karate champion like Cosmo Kramer.
What prior roles could Kramer rely on, delving back into that
Shirley MacLaine past-lives collective for bringing back butt-whipping
techniques of pre-Kramer lives? The butler from Transylvania 6-5000? I
think not. If he had the broom that Stanley Spikowski did in Weird-
Al's "UHF" - maybe..But, even then, a broom weilding janitor is no
match for a Klingon warrior.
Iggy has got this one in the bag before it
even begins...... and here are the three, incontrovertible reasons
why.......
Now, Kramer may be able to confound the Rev's alter-egos with his own
unbridled wackiness, but Kramer must fall to the might of my favorite
of Christopher Lloyd's roles....
The two combatants size each other up, waiting for the chance to
strike.
"C'mon, people! Sweat with me!" the newcomer says.
The Reverend, on a huge rush of "pixi-stix[TM]", charges at the lithe,
sweating creature, shouting "Get outta' my way!"
Kramer does the same, eager to get rid of the pest and get back the
chicken suit (which happened to be the wrong size, anyway).
The two fighters connect with the newcomer simultaneously, but they
just glide right off all the grease and sweat, slamming into each
other!
"I say we wax this bozo right now!" Kramer tells Jim. Jim just nods in
agreement. They each grab a suitable weapon, and swing them at the
horrible, sweaty monster, who deflects them with perfect can-can kicks
from completely shaven legs.
"I can see you aren't gonna work with me, so I'll have to be rid of
you." he says in mock hurt. Jim and Kramer are helpless at the barrage
of razor-edged Deal-a-Meal[TM] cards being thrown at them. The last
words they hear are "Sugar pie, honey bun".
Brian your faith in the good reverend is touching, but completley
misguided, he doesn't have a chance against Kramer. There is no way Iggy will have it together enough upstairs to even
consider using his money or time machine to win (besides, you forget
that Bobby is also Security Chief Zack Allan of Babylon 5 and he will
doublessly prevent using any copout treknobable solutions to this
fight).
Kramer's basic spaciness (as opposed to Ignatowski's more general
cluelessness) is his downfall. As he pulls Louie through the remnants
of the cage to throttle him more efficiently, he gets a look at
everyone in the garage...
We ended up voting for Rev. Jim after much deliberation... the reasons
are that when Rev. Jim is either doped or boozed up, he loses every
spazian quality (he's not a spaz). Even though he no longer has ESP,
he does have the ability to act like a normal person, which is
something Cosmo can never do. While Kramer does have That Thing He
Does With His Hand (tm, Pat. Pend.), which means, of course, Dr.
Strangelove is on his side, and also he can swim the East River, which
improves his strength and odour, past experience has shown that he has
lost to midgets before. With Rev. Jim's non-spaziness and Louie on
his side, he cannot lose. The worst Kramer can do is accidentally
hurt the good Rev., although the presence of the smaller than life
Louie could possibly cancel out any special powers Cosmo might have.
Anyway, the only advantage Kramer has is Dr. Strangelove, who would
probably be too busy fighting his own mechanical limb to help his
fellow comrade-in-arms, so to speak. Thank you and good night.
Closer than you think...
Exidor from "Mork and Mindy"'d kick both their asses. He'd lead them
in a chant of "Ohwha Tajer Kiam" and beat them severely with an iron
bar while they were still figuring it out.
Well guys, I voted for Iggy. Not because he will thrash Kramer but he will keep Louie from getting choked to death. Iggy will walk into the garage as Kramer is choking the life from louie and start spouting off at the mouth about how this reminds him of ancient legend out of mythology and after a few seconds Kramer will get that look into his eyes, snap back into the dark swirls of what he considers reality and drop Louie. He then will do the infamous Kramer spin into a cocked stance and reply "You know I think I know which one your talking about" Iggy in return will give his astonished deer in the headlights look and the two will sit at that table and discuss ancient mythology for hours. Babbling about Homer (not Simpson for you simpletons!) and the other classics. They will both forget their original points and simultaneously they will both realize that they are hungry. Remember in your scenario that they both were speeding out. Iggy on uppers and Kramer on caffine. They will walk out of the garage still talking and going to get something to eat. Then the scene cuts to George in front of Yankee stadium as the lights go out and mumbles something about George and relationship George and the Boom, when they collide.
The match between Kramer and the Rev. Jim is a tough one to call, but
I had to vote for Jim. Kramer is a nutcase, surely, but he doesn't
seem to have any hidden talents: Kramer is like an open book - what
you see is what you get. The Igmeister, however, is full of little
surprises, and he's seen a lot of tough stuff in his day. He can
probably hold his own pretty well. Kramer hasn't had a real job in
his life, and while he can get a pretty hot temper, he's scared of
clowns and will probably run at the first sign of real trouble.
I'll be honest, I've never heard of either of these two people, who the hell are they?
It all boils down to attention span. Kramer is used to focusing on
minute little things and running them for all their are worth with the
rest of the gang. Jim can't stay focused for the duration of a belch.
Here's the deal. First of all. I bet half the people voting don't even
know who Reverend Jim is. As always with this page. Popularity, not
battle prowess decides the outcome. I actually voted for reverend Jim
because I know he'll lose. Call it a sympathey vote. I admit that
Kramer could beat Jim in a fight. He's so much more "animated". But
I choose to go with the underdog. Can we not forget how Dick Vitale
triumphed over too much better candidates.
Unfortunately guys, you both seem to have made the same mistake that
Kramer will. You've dismissed Louie as an insignifcant part of the
equation, when he will actually be The Deciding Factor(tm). As we can
tell from looking at him, Louie has spent most of his life being
ridiculed for his being both vertically and follicly challenged. This
of course has created in him a deep-seated hatred for tall people, as
well as a dark sense of loathing for those with hair. Combined with
the fact that he was rejected in his initial bid to enter the local
chapter of the Mafia, we are left with a deep burning fury just
waiting for a place to explode with lethal force!
Cliff Clavin v. Newman
Friends v. Seinfeld
Jeopardy!: Iggy v. Ernest v. Kelly Bundy
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