Cheers fill the arena as the other contender enters. Dressed in solid gold robes and shoes, he jogs up to the ring. He grabs the ropes to pull himself into the ring; instantly, the ropes stop swinging and begin glimmering against the bright arena lights. He throws off his robe which falls with a clank to the canvas revealing dazzling golden trunks. The crowd goes wild.
"Are you ready to Rummmmmmm-bbbbbbllllllllle!"
"In this corner, weighing in at 175 pounds, the Metallic Marvel, the Greek Golden Guy, the one, the only, Kiiiing Miiii-daaaas!!" The crowd goes crazy, cheers cascading down upon the King. Within seconds, the cheers turn to boos. "And in this corner, weighing in at 37 pounds, the Doctor of Demise, the Hound of Hades, Death Incarnate himself, the Griiim Reeeaaapeeeer!!!" The deafening combination of cheers and jeers drown out the announcer.
So, Steve, who comes out alive in WWWF WrestleManya (tm)?
Anyway, It's obvious that the Grim Reaper has to win this one. Midas is just a human with special powers. The Grim Reaper is a supernatural being, whose power we just can't fathom. Is it really possible to turn the Grim Reaper into gold? Maybe his robe will transform, but not Dr. Death. He should prove invulnerable against Midas's powers.
Another issue is touch-a-bility. Midas will be simple to touch, being the show-off that he is, bare-chested and vulnerable. The Reaper's target is right there out in the open. But the Reaper has those robes to protect him. It can't be easy finding 37 pounds of bone in all those folds of his robe. While Midas searches for a target, a bony finger will extend and put Midas out of the gold business for good. Reaper in 5 seconds.
BRIAN: Usually, Steve, I just disagree with your poor analysis. But never have I witnessed you to completely miss the point. Until now. Touching? Direct contact of any kind? Impossible! If these two combatants have any type of direct physical contact (hand-hand, hand-chest, elbow-face, etc.), the match will be a draw: Midas is killed and the Reaper turned to gold. Look at the voting form, Steve! A tie isn't an option!
So where does that leave us? Simple logic tells us that the fight must be resolved without direct contact. Ah-ha! Weapons! What kind of weapons would the Reaper have? Anything within arms reach of a normal WWWF wrestling ring: chairs, bells, people, audio/video equipment, etc. What would the King have? Solid gold versions of the same. Imagine the Reaper hitting the King with a microphone stand. Yeah, it would hurt, but no big deal. Now, imagine the King hitting the Reaper with a SOLID GOLD microphone stand. Thus, the King has at his disposal much harder, much heavier and much more effective weapons to win this match. It's all over as soon as Midas can get his hands on a big bucket o' popcorn or a firehose (very easily done in WWWF Wrestlemanya (tm)).
STEVE: Brian, it's whatever they touch, not whatever touches them that matters. Therefore, my arguments are completely valid. However, I'll take time out to play your little game, since you managed to screw up those arguments as well.
First of all, the Grim Reaper is not weaponless. He carries a sickle with him. You know, long stick, sharp curved blade, etc. This is a tool made for hacking. It will work quite nicely on pretty-boy Midas. Poor Midas is the one who is going to have to grope for substandard weaponry. And believe me, a microphone stand is no match for a sickle.
Second, your golden vs. non-golden weapon argument is completely faulty. I really would like to see Midas lift and swing a golden microphone stand. It would weigh upwards of 200 pounds if it were gold. Even if he can lift it, any swing will be easily avoided since Midas lacks the strength to wield it with any speed.
Third, if we play by your "anything that touches them" rules, then Midas is in even more trouble because of his powers. I will now perform a rudimentary physical analysis. Imagine The Reaper's sickle (or any other weapon) hitting Midas. Right before impact, let's say it has a certain mass and a certain velocity. The energy supplied by Reaper = 0.5mv2. Right after impact, it turns to gold, and it's mass increases by a conservative 5 times. This freshly golden weapon, still travelling at it's original speed, now supplies over 5 times the energy (and thus 5 times the impact) on Midas, with no additional effort required by the Reaper! It's like five hits in one! This is an easy victory for the Reaper if we follow your rules.
BRIAN: Your overly condescending tones fail to give your arguments any credibility. First of all, let's review basic vocabulary. Reaper: Anything he touches, dies. Midas: Anything he touches, turns to gold. Webster's: Touch, v., to be or become so close to (something) that there is no intervening space. Nowhere in that definition is there any hint of "touch" being defined by who initiated contact. Clearly, THERE CANNOT BE ANY CONTACT OF ANY KIND if a draw is to be avoided.
Second, your sickle analysis is moot. Since you want to discuss "my rules", let's discuss "THE rules". From Section IV of the WWWF Wrestlemanya (tm) RuleBook (tm): "At no time shall any kind of hand-held weapon, motorized or manual, or any kind of projectile be used on an opponent." Thus, they can only be used when the referee has his back turned and is engaged in some animated conversation with someone outside the ring (tm). When the Reaper walks in with the sickle, the ref will see it at the start of the fight and have it removed. Standard pro-wrestling protocol! HE WON'T EVER EVEN HAVE THE SICKLE IN THE RING!! And, to dispel your myths (pun intended) about King Midas, he's been wielding gold objects for years now and he's gotten pretty buff.
And, finally, let's consider outside influences (something we've neglected recently). Who does Grim have? Some goblins, some ghouls, some minions of the dark, blah, blah, blah. Who does Midas have? Why the whole of Mount Olympus! Who granted him the turn-everything-to-gold wish in the first place? Dionysus! And let's not forget he was on good enough terms to be selected to judge one of their musical competitions (yeah, he pissed off Apollo and ended up with donkey ears, but he's still really close with the rest of them). And why would the gods resent the Reaper?! He's moving in on their territory! Hades was god of the underworld and death long before Mr. Reaper came along and muscled in on his turf AND stole his name ("Hound of Hades"). Hades alone could take out Grim, but imagine what happens when 10 or 20 of those gods come crashing down on the party. I'm thinking Cerberus will have a few bones to bury in the afterworld once this is over. BOC said it best: "Don't fear the reaper!"
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His strategy will be a simple one. During the match, which will consist mainly of a great deal of dodging and possible finger poking, king midas will give a nod to his secret weapon standing outside the ring. At this time the Solid Gold Dancers will start to strut their stuff distracting the ref and maybe even death himself. Midas will then sieze the moment by touching death's robe turning it into gold. Death doesnt look like he has the build to wear solid gold attire (we leave that to Mr. T) so he collapses under the weight getting pinned to the mat for a three count.
1. Defence. The King has access to layers upon layers of protective coating. With a little forethought, King Midas could outfit himself in a pair of MC Hammer balloon pants (tm) and one of Fabio's sleeveless shirts and he'll have an impregnable suit of golden armor extending for miles around.
2. The Rage (tm). Since everything that touches the king turns to gold, he has doubtlessly experienced all manner of humiliation, from being essentially unable to perform basic bodily functions (gotta watch what you touch down there) to foregoing any kind of meaningful relations with other human beings. All these years of denial (and living in his own golden filth) have turned him into a bitter and twisted old man, and he's looking to put a king-sized whoopin' on someone.
3. Arsenal. In addition to all the other objects at ringside which King Midas could use against the reaper, I'm surprised you folks have overlooked an important resource within easy reach of the regent. The densest objects known to man: celebrities. Their awesome killing power as projectiles will magnify when solidified as gold. A lot of fantastically dumb but aerodynamic stars will have shelled out major bucks to sit at ringside. Imagine the primary and collateral damage inflicted by Midas-propelled golden versions of Jim Carrey, Sean Young and (please, God) Don King. Not to mention the extensive psychological trauma.
4. Tactics. It's easy to cheat death, or at least distract him. The Reaper is a sucker for side contests - all Midas has to do is challenge him to a game of chess, wait until he turns his back and then WHAM, right in the back of the melon with the golden corpse of Charlie Sheen.
Combine all this and it's only a matter of time before the solid gold dancers do the slide slide slippety slide on the grim reaper's bony ass.
- Thinkmaster General
EDITOR'S NOTE: A Solid Gold Dancers (tm) reference was not necessary to receive a ROTW. This was merely coincidence.
King Midas is obviously Charlemagne (although that painting is reportedly idealized). Charlemagne might have been the Holy Roman Emperor with a direct communication channel to the Supreme Being but even Charlemagne eventually succumbed to the Grim Reaper .
Or has King Midas/Charlemagne been resurrected and this is a rematch?
But does it matter? No one escapes the final outcome.
 An anthromorphic personality who TALKS LIKE THIS, carries a mean scythe  and like cats.
 The referee would NEVER see it as Death has the capability to materialize this instrument out of thin air. It also reportedly can cut immaterial objects  while passing harmlessly through material objects .
 Like souls from their earthly hosts. King Midas/Charlemagne will never know what happened...until it's too late.
 Death apparently doesn't like creating a mess.
You know, folks, she's right. That was a picture of Charlemagne. But do you have any idea how hard it is to find a picture of ANY king (never mind King Midas himself) that doesn't make said king look like a complete geneticly vapid, VD-ridden, funny hat-clad, purple fluffy robe-wearin' freak? We HAD to improvise! -Eds
Of course if they had been playing chess. . .
- Dave McGee
- Jonathan D. Siegel
"Gooooldfinger." (Ba-ba-ba-baaaaaaaaa) "He's the man, the man with the Midas touch"
Actually I think I'll go with Death on this one. Just looking at his record. 40 billion fights, 40 billion wins, all knockouts. That's even better than Tyson. And think of all the people he's beaten. That long drawn out bout with George Burns threatened to go all the way, but the Reaper got him in the end. He is the undisputed heavy weight champion of the world.
- Ashley Wakeman
The Reaper, on the other hand, has at his beck and call the hosts of the dead. This means that he can call upon such luminaries of the squared circle as The Grand Wizzard of Wrestling, Freddie Blassie and damned near the entire Von Erich clan. These spirits know ring wars like the back of their hand. To distract the referee long enough to allow the Reaper to get hold of his scythe and use it would be second nature to them.
Once the Reaper used his scythe, it would be all over. Even if Midas's power operated upon his death, it would still end up with a dead king and a golden scythe. A double victory for the thin white duke, as it were.
- Jeff Aronowitz
On the other hand, if ol' goldfinger is touched by the Reaper, then we all know what fate awaits him. Heck, the hand of death cannot even kill himself-- surely the Reaper must touch himself (but lets not go there...) and still he does not die. Death is eternal. It is needed as a counterbalance for life. What is Midas needed for? Big fat nothing. As Nietzsche said, "Death-- The certain prospect of death could sweeten every life with a precious and fragrant drop of levity-- and now you strange apothecary souls have turned it into an ill-tasting drop of poison that makes the whole of life repulsive."
Or as I always say: don't fuck with Death.
- Hsiang Tseng, Stanford University
So, I'll have to say that the Grim Reaper will be victorious after 1,756,289 rounds.
- tuffy, University of Minnesota
- Robert Crocombe
I can see it now, our color person sitting in his seat ringside: "And the bell rings. Reap and Midas are circling one another, searching for the ideal attack. Midas jabs in, grabbing the robe and turning it gold. Reap charges! Midas jumps out of the way. Oh my goodness! Reap killed the ref!
"Wait... wait... what's this? Someone just entered from the back of the auditorium! Oh my God! It's the Prince of Darkness... yes, Satan himself is in our presence!
"He's going up to Midas, whose trembling in fear! Now look! Here comes Dionysus! Rushing down to protect Midas. They fight, gay god against prince of evil. Satan rushes and oooh! Dionysus is down. And oooh! Midas is down... and... oh no! He's coming this way! Oh nooo---"
Anyway, it is clear that Reaper has the living embodiment of evil on his side while Midas has some wimpy three thousand year old gods.
- R. Brian Clardy
- Paul J. Breslin
P.S. I won a Toy Story CD-Rom from Disney today! The web really is cool!
Another example of a similar ability is seen in Clash of the Titans. When Perseus is going for Medusa's head some of Perseus' friends get turned to stone. Does Medusa's stone-turning powers stop at the troops' flesh? No, All of their person and belongings (sword, armor, ect.) are turned to stone. Again, what decides where the power stops??
Now, if you state that Midas' powers stop with the Object he is touching, then the best strategy for Midas is to turn Death's robe to gold. Presto! Instant 3 ton skintight prison cell! While Death is trapped in his own cloak Midas can come right up and crush Death's nose with the bell hammer. Thor himself would probably be jealous.
- George Lessmann
- Aaron Petry, Ohio State University
Feeling confident, Midas lashes out, turning the black shroud of the Reaper to solid gold. A second touch to the Reaper's face turns the skeleton to gold.
And thus does Midas doom himself.
The Reaper, you see, is a spirit. Though he must take a physical form to participate in this contest, he can abandon it at any time, and animate any other corpse to serve as his body.
There is a rumbling beneath the floorboards. Midas, jubilant in his perceived victory, looks down, fear crossing his handsome features. The floor bursts, and a skeletal figure rises. It is not the skeleton of a human, though, but of a Tyrannosaurus Rex. Though the body has decayed, there are still shreds of purple fluff clinging to the bones. The Reaper has possessed the body of a former Grudge Match victim and a fellow servant of evil, Barney.
Though Midas has been out of touch, the aura of evil that surrounded Barney in life remains in death. (This aura is easily detected by most people over four years of age.) Petrified in horror, Midas can do nothing as the puny arms of the Tyrannosaur's skeleton reach out and touch him. The noble king falls to the floor, dead.
Thus, the Reaper wins the day. Fearing the wrath of the Olympians, the Grim Reaper flees, taking Barney's skeleton with him to the Nether Realms in the hope of resurrecting this fallen champion of darkness.
- Matthew L. Martin, University Center Rochester
Let's "Pretend" Midas is transported to M.S.G. via Mr. Peabody and Sherman's time machine."Don't touch anything!"
Both fighters enter the ring(tm) and take their respective corners. While Midas sits, glaring at his opponnet, he doesn't realize screen legend Burgess Meridith and boxing guru Don King leaning over him to lend some words of wisdom. But, as in the past, the king's (Midas) lips are not fast enough. For Mr. Meridith's body, now solid gold, and upwards of a half ton, falls quickly on his lap. As Midas trys to free him self Don King's hair, like ten thousand golden daggers, comes crashing in. The last thing Midas see's is his opponnet laughing......
p.s.how could I recieve a copy of the WWWF Wrestlemanya(tm) Rulebook(tm)?
The referee, wearing gloves, held up each fighter's hand as his name was called, his left glove turning into gold as midas touched it. Then the fighters exercised the traditional Rocky-esque double fisted hitting of each other's hands and.....
A feeling of illease spread through the crowd. Only one fighter was standing, and the match hadn't even begun!!! A hush spread like a muted wildfire, and the referee, with an embarassed look on his face, declares a shiney new 14 karat death the winner (since I can see no reason that Death would be negatively affected by being Gold).
- El Squid, Lawrence University, Appleton, WI
- paTRICK heSTER
- Marshall Layne, Northwestern University
- Noel Schornhorst, Savannah College of Art and Design, Savannah, GA
- Paul Cooper, Michigan State University
- Vinnie M., Seton Hall University
I'm going to take my prozac now...
- yves, University of Hawaii
- The Elder Dan
("[King Midas has] got charm, talent, and most of all lots of money. Just look at the moves he's got." (Midas acts in some obnoxious distinctly non-red blooded-american/blue collar fashion, such as kissing his opponent or espousing communism, or gasp, being an academic)..."My goodness, will you look at that. Midas's Sleazy Manager(tm) Hermes the Trickster has distracted the referee! Midas has run into his corner, where Zeus is waiting! Oh my god, Zeus has passed Midas one of his Lightning Bolts(tm)! This is indeed an illegal object infraction!"..."Midas is drawing back to throw, oh my! Chronos has entered the ring! The Father of the Gods is pointing at Zeus, and saying something... we can't quite hear what it is... Zeus has grabbed Death's scythe! He's jumped Chronos, oh my lord! Zues has cut off Chronos' testicle! There appears to be something... no wait, it can't be! Someone has emerged from Chronos' severed testicle! This is certainly an exciting night for the WWWF!"
Midas slinks off and gets a career devaluating currency in third world nations. Death goes on to win the Interplanar Championship belt, only to lose it to Hephaestus.
King Midas will not die, because it is Not His Time. He is Fated (TM). He is fated either to starve to death or repent and be cured of his greed. He cannot die until then.
King Midas wins, because anytime you can walk away from Death, you win.
Death in however long he cares to toy with his doomed adversary.
- Lord Axe, University of Wisconsin
- Chris Kote
Zeus: Well, Midas, once you've smited Death with your righteous wrath, go shag half the population of Olympus including your own daughter. Hey, it works for me.
Then, Reaper just touches him as hard as he can upside the head with a solid gold arm which will smash his skull and kill him.
Reaper then accidentally kills the replacement referee, when said ref hold his hand up high to announce the winner.
This one will not get a P.G. rating.
The way I see it, Midas will enter the ring, and prance around like the gold crusted idiot that he is. Bill & Ted will travel back in time, and set up some sort of heavy object like a tank or a sand bag or something above the ring. While the "good robot us's" (tm) keep Midas distracted, said heavy object will come crashing down on him, ending the fight before it begins. Come to think of it, they can make it even easier by just traveling back in time and giving Midas' dad a condom. Either way you look at it, Death doesn't even break a sweat. Death in negative minutes or negative centuries, your choice.
"You may be a king or a little street sweeper, but sooner or later you'll dance with the Reaper!"
- Dan Gardner
- Shane D. Harsch
The Reaper now enters, and is asked by the official to discard his sickle. Grim, being an emotionless tool of evil, kills the ref with a quick swoop of his blade.
The match now begins in earnest. We know no touching EVER occurs in a wrestling match, so the two go about their fake head butts, knee drops, super-fly powerdives, whatever. Mr. Death, remembering that people are waiting to die, realizes that he has to go. He whacks the old king into oblivion with the sickle, and continues his ghostly chores around the world.
- Josh Kaplan, University of Michigan
- The Freak
"Woah, you can't do that, to the King" he says in his familiar Memphis drawl, and smashes the Reaper in the face with his guitar.The Reaper is dazed as now Elvis is on the attck. He picks The Reaper up and flings him to the ground.The Reaper counters with a choke-hold, Elvis breaks and "DDT"(TM)'s The Reaper. The ref waves his arms frantically, as the doctors scrape Midas's remains off the mat. The fight goes to The Reaper.
"You Hound Dog of Hades, we'll meet again." Elvis croons as he vanishes in a explosion of satin and sequins.
Bill: Totally, like, you can take him, major Gold Dude! Ted: Like, yeah! Just do what we did when we faced the most bogus Grim Reaper. Midas(still circling death while listening to the voices in his head.): Who are you guys? Bill and Ted: We are (electric guitar) Wild Stallions (TM)!Midas listened to their plan. His muscles, hardened and increased from having to carry gold on his person for most of his life, spring into action. He dives beneath Death's robes, passing through his legs to the other side. He stands quickly behind the Grim Reaper, reaching for the Hound's of Hell's boxer shorts. He pulls hard, feeling his power working.
Death's boxers, now pulled into a killer Melvin, turn to gold. Death gives a cry of pain as he tries to pull the wedging golden shorts from his butt and now constricted gonads. His brain overloads from the pain, and he falls over, unconscious.
Midas puts his hands together from the cheers, as the crowd goes wild. "Midas, Midas, Midas!" They chant. Several of his groupies run forward, intent on giving him a special reward. Sadly, they all turn to gold as well, leaving Midas triumphant, but eternally frustrated.
- Dark Paladin
It's a close call, but Bacchus was the deity who gave Midas his gift, and the power of booze is just as potent today as it was centuries ago. Eddie Campbell's comic, Bacchus, is also doing well. Good press is just what those cranky old Olympians need. Meanwhile, millions of Americans are tuned in to Melrose Place instead of the WWWF pay-per-view special - depriving the Reaper of valuable psychic allies. So Midas prevails, standing over the prostrate figure of his gilded foe... oblivious to the awesome forces that have come into play on his behalf.
- The labrat.
- Chris Dahl, Victoria, B.C. Canada
- Star Bellied Sneech
- Dave and Lindsay
- Rob Sheppard
When the Grim Reaper first came for the life of King Midas but just before he made contact, the king accidentally turned his daughter into gold. Grim suddenly realized that he could suffer the same fate as the young girl. Needless to say, the Reaper safely fled the scene. However, the trauma suffered caused all sorts of mental problems and strange behaviors. Starting with an understandable fear of visiting Greece or other places where Midas might show up, his mental health quickly worsened. Soon, he had a fear of anything gold or gold-like and avoided all form of popular media so he wouldn't be exposed to the Solid Gold Dancers, the movie Goldfinger or commercials for Golden Grahams or Rold-Gold Pretzels. He refused to eat because of the possibility of contamination by golden-delicious apples or Gold-Medal Flour, complicating his already severe anoxeria problem. Toward the end, he was in such bad shape that he lost to the mental midgets BILL AND TED in Twister because he tried to avoid gold circles.
Fortunately, there was help. After visiting Hippocrates, he was diagnosed with MIDS - Midas Incorrect Dogma Syndrome. After attending GA (Gold Anonymous), reading several pamphlets and watching a self-help video, he began to recognize the truth. As he had known, anything that Midas touches turns to gold; however, gold objects, whether or not created by Midas, have no such power. Thus, any clothing the king wears is harmless. Thus with his long-held preconceptions corrected, his mental health healed and his solid gold ribbon on his cloak, Death was finally able to complete his mission.
As he enters the ring with his sickle, the referee tries to physically remove the weapon and *accidentally* drops dead after touching the Reaper's hand. He then proceeds to chop Midas' head off. Then, with Midas unable to defend himself temporarily, Grim gives the king the finger on the bottom of his left wrestling boot. That's all the contact Death needs. With Midas dead, his powers are gone and Grim gets the one-two-three with the infamous but satisfying "finger-push" pin.
Now if he could only kill Golddust...
- Paul Golba
- CompuServer (tm)
Only possible outcome: Ref instructs combatants to shake hands and come out fighting. For obvious reasons, they cannot do this. Instead, King Midas, ever the soul of congeniality, tries to shake the hand of the ref. The ref balks at the proximity of the Golden King (see how many people get close to YOU after you stop brushing your teeth for 10,000 years because the damned golden toothbrush makes your gums bleed) and tries to back away. The ref trips and begins to fall. Ever the epitome of courtesy, both fighters reach for him...Midas gets there first, since forward-leaning-down motions tend to cause the reaper's hood to fall in front of his eye sockets. The ref instantly turns to gold, and thus the technical disqualification of King Midas. Subsection F, Part A, Paragraph II(c).3 of the Internal Revenue Code (ooops, the WWWF code) specifically prohibits contestants from turning refs into inanimate objects. However, the ref is unable to call the fight, because he would need a hydraulic pump to move his golden tongue up and down sufficiently to create understandable speech.
Sensing an advantage, the Grim Reaper turns to the side of the ring to retrieve the sickle which the ref has taken from him/her/it/polygenderic renderer of dirtnapitis. While the Gwim Weaper (this IS Elmer Fudd's week to do the play-by-play, isn't it?) is distracted, the King of soft, malleable metaldom furtively sneaks up behind the Reaper and touches his robe, which instantly turns to gold.
Hence, the King wins by default...he has rendered the Reaper permanently immobile, and eliminated the ref as well. It is a well-known fact that the doctors at the Walter Bethesda Naval Hospital (while examining the Reaper after a "near-miss" from autoerotic activities involving a noose, two Fig Newton cookies, and a Stanley tape measure) have determined that the Reaper could not move around at all (due to complete lack of muscular structure, tendons, or ligaments) if he wore anything heavier than his Lycra death-shroud (ponder THIS next time you're shopping for a pair of bike shorts: Lycra---official fabric of the Grim Reaper).
And that's it. That's how the King of Atomic Element #(insert correct number here) wins this classic grudge match...when staging the next event, keep in mind that Madison Square Garden will no longer be serviceable since no one will be able to move the Grim Reaper from his position in the ring. Perhaps we can all saunter over to the WWWF's gym (at Vvince MmcMmahon's house, isn't it?) to view the next bout.
The preceding has been brought to you by the Acccrow Sports Broadcasting Network. Any taping, or other rebroadcasting of this segment, without the express written consent....
- Michael Young
- Brent Jacobsen
- RICHARD ENVY
Let's say that both combatants come out swinging, each landing a punch. BAM, Midas is already receiving his final judgement before his body even hits the canvas. But what about the Reaper? His pile of bones turns to gold. Does it matter? No.
A normal man has a lot of soft tissue such as ligaments, veins, muscles, and a brain. One touch from Midas and all of this turns into solid gold. Solid gold brain + = Death. The Reaper has no soft tissue to speak of. He is a spirit animating a pile of bones. When Midas touches him the bones become solid gold bones. The mechanics of his motion will remain the same due to his total lack of connective tissue at the joints. He'll still be able to walk and swing his sythe just as he did before except that now he'll be doing it with a golden smile. Now an animated corpse would have been a different story.
But what if the Reaper doesn't want to turn into gold? No problem. Remember, the Grim Reaper picks up extra cash around the holidays posing as the ghost of Christmas Future. As Ebeneezer Schrooge could tell you, spirits are capable of distorting space and time.
Because Midas is still just a mortal man, he will eventually die of natural causes. The Reaper could just distort time so that the WWWF grudge match takes place after Midas is already dead. The judges would have to rule in favor of a Reaper victory due to his opponent already being dead.
Any way you look at it, Midas dies.
- Rich Coughlan
- Kent Newsome
1) The Reapmeister has played this game before, and won. He's been through all that mumbo jumbo since the beginning of time. If anybody knows how to kill, it's the Reaper, sickle or no sickle. He won't beat around the bush, he'll just kill him and be done with it.
2) I don't care how long Midas has been wielding golden objects. It won't matter anyway, there won't be any time to touch anything but the canvas.
3) The gods won't back him up cuz it was his greed that got him this power in the first place. There has to be some moral to the story. There it is. Greed Kills Kings Dead.
- Marcus Turnbo
Midas will have a problem evading Reaper's touch because Reaper's got a longer armspan. But with a quick feint, Midas should be able to lure Reaper in one direction, then dart underneath to grab Reap's ankle, turning ol' gloom and doom into one of the Solid Gold dancers.
King Midas will leave the ring to the sounds of Blue Oyster Cult's "Don't Fear the Reaper" booming over the Garden's P.A. One word of advice for the Golden Greek's fans--don't try to give him a high five as he leaves the arena.
If you liked this match, check out these other past
Death v. Taxes
Lucky the Leprechaun v. The Trix Rabbit
Forrest Gump v. Rainman
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